


Don't Let Me Down

by theackles



Series: Cas [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Dean Saves Castiel, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Falling In Love, Friends With Benefits, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Playlist, Shameless Smut, Smut, Top Castiel, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 11:04:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9721013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theackles/pseuds/theackles
Summary: A one night stand turns into friends with benefits, Dean and Cas just can't seem to get enough of each other. But when one proposes something more, things seem to crash and burn. Will these two ever confess how they really feel or will they let each other slip through their fingers?Porn with plot, buckle your seatbelts kids.





	

**Author's Note:**

> There's supposed to be a lot of italicizes words but it messed it all up when I transferred it to post. So just use your best judgement. 
> 
> Playlist to be posted soon
> 
> Tried to hit 10k words but didn't quite make it

  
The music was too loud. Dean could hardly see through the swarm of people, all gathered too closely in the tight space that was the dance floor of this stupid club. The lights were flashing all different colors in times with the beats. He lost Charlie somewhere in all the people, and Sam, and everyone else that dragged him here.

So we’ll piss off the neighbors,  
In the place that feels the tears,  
The place to lose your fears

Dean couldn't get to the bathroom quick enough. He had too many drinks and they weren't agreeing with him, not with this headache, not with the bass so deep it's pounding the nausea straight into his gut.  
He finally finds the restroom after he pushes past all the people clumped together and dancing, stuck in a little corner in the dark. He only spots it when a light flashes over the door and reflects the men's emblem.  
Dean crashes into the bathroom and glares at the fluorescence. He thinks he might be sick.

God, why did he do this.

Before he can even think about grabbing a stall, someone is against him.

Like, against him.

They're shorter, smell like vodka, and some sort of sweet cologne. Everything is crowding him, and he feels like the air is thick. So thick.

Suddenly a mouth is on his—the same guy. It's sweet and prying, a tongue pushing into his mouth unwelcome. But for some reason he can't move. The guy pulls off, where Dean can finally see his face.

Under the bright lights he sees blue eyes, and his hair is dark, almost black. He's got a young face, and a bright white smile when he grins at Dean.

“You're pretty hot,” the guy grins, running his tongue over his bottom lip. “I sure know how to pick em.”

Dean can't even breathe. He can't move. God, what's wrong with him?

Maybe it's the alcohol beating through his system, because when the guy leans back in for another sloppy hot kiss, Dean doesn't fight it. God, this guy is a good kisser. Even with the alcohol that he wreaks of, his tongue is an expert with whatever it's doing in Dean's mouth right now.

The mans hands are on either side of Dean, just barely an inch or two shorter than Dean. Dean kisses back with whatever fog of a thought he has left in his brain, and suddenly feels too damn exposed in this bright, dirty bathroom.

He pulls away, and the guy speaks for him. “Wanna go somewhere?”

All thoughts of the nausea and the sickness are over with. Deans not sure where they went but he doesn't miss them. He nods before he realizes what he's doing.

The guy seems to know his way around the club much better than Dean does, because he takes them out of a back door that entered the alleyway.

“My car is around the building,” Dean says, but he's not sure he should be driving like this. He's had to rebuild Baby more times than he can count.

“I know a hotel just around the corner,” the guy says, giving Dean a look despite the obvious drunk haze that's cast over his blue eyes.

The guy starts to lead them, Dean's fingers intertwine in his. Dean realizes suddenly he doesn't even know the guys name.

“What's your—“

“Cas,” the guy says, giving Dean a quirky grin.

Cas. It fits him quite perfectly actually.

“I'm Dean.”

Cas nods, and smiles again. “Well, Dean, we’re here.” Dean didn't even notice they were at a high-class looking hotel several stories tall. Inside, the lobby is all marble and granite and polished floors. Cas gives a nod to the attendant and disappears down the hallway to one of the first floor rooms. He pulls a keycard out of his back pocket and unlocks a door.

“You come here often, then?” Dean asks, glancing around as they slip into the room.

“Not as often as you think,” Cas winks, locking the door behind them.

His next move is pulling Dean's shirt over him, running hot hands over his chest. The shirt comes off quickly. Dean melts under Cas’ hands, expertly rubbing over every crevice of muscle and over his nipples that become hard under the touch.

Cas’ mouth makes a sloppy trail from Dean's collar bones down between his pecs, down to his navel, and towards the slight V that disappears into his jeans.

Dean sucks in a sharp breath when Cas unbuttons his jeans and slides them down, half-dragging his boxers down with them. His boxers get caught on his hard-on, but Cas makes quick work of those, too, biting them with his teeth and pulling those down, too.

His nose barely brushes past Dean's cock, and the slight touch is more sensational then it should be. Dean hadn't realize how long it had been since he had action that wasn't his hand.

Cas makes another trail back up, starting with Dean's ever-growing erection. He lands a wet kiss to the head, eyes flicking up to lock with Dean's.

Dean sucks in a hearty breath when he sees Cas’ eyes are so dark he could hardly tell they were blue.

He kisses back up the trail he made, interrupting it with a long tongue stroke up Deans neck, so light and delicate it left goosebumps in their aftermath. He kisses Deans mouth, pushing him toward the bed until his knees buckled and they fell towards the soft mattress.

Cas took his own dark shirt off next, and shucked his jeans and boxers off next. He collapses on Dean, chest to chest, and gets on his knees. As he licks deep into Dean's mouth, he grabs both of their dicks in his hand, and starts stroking. Dean's breath hitches, and he involuntarily bucks into the feeling.

Cas chuckles deep into his mouth. “Feel good?”

“You have no idea,” Dean gasps.

Suddenly, Dean's flipped over to his stomach. He gasps in surprise. Cas is thin, and definitely doesn't look like he has the capacity and strength to flip Dean over without much strain.

Cas’ hands trail down Dean's back, and stop on his bare ass. “You ever been fucked before, Dean?”

Dean's threat goes narrow at the question. “N-No,”He stutters. The only shit he's done with another man is jerk each other off, make out some, gives few hickies.

“Well, you're about to be.” Cas says darkly, biting at Dean's shoulder. Cas feels Dean go stiffer than a brick underneath him, and goes close to his ear. “If you want me to stop, just say stop. I will.” Dean can hear the promise in this man he didn't know. Dean's hot and wanting beneath him, fitting his dick into the mattress beneath them and he can feel the heat in his veins.

He doesn't deny him, in the end. “Do it.” Dean whispers harshly, like he can't believe he just said that.

Cas doesn't say another thing as he leans up and trails hands down Dean's back, steady and focused.

Suddenly Dean feels something wet against…there. He gasps and holds is breath. It's Cas’ finger. It's circling, over and over and over. Each time sends a harder set of chills and adrenaline down Dean's spine. He can't believe he's doing this.

He faintly hears a condom wrapper being ripped open. Cas makes a movement above him, and his fingers are back and wet with something that isn't spit. Dean can imagine its lube. It's slick and easy as Cas’ fingers breach, one knuckle at first. It leaves Dean panting. He's not sure if it's a good thing or not.

Next it's another knuckle, then the whole finger. Another finger joins, and they curl inside of him. Dean bites back an unexpected yelp in the pillows.

Cas exits, leaving him wanting.

A pressure is leaning against him next and Dean prepares for it. He tenses, and the pressure stops.

“Relax,” Cas murmurs in Dean's ear. “Or it'll hurt.”

Dean tries his damnedest. He takes deep breathes and shuts his eyes. He relaxes enough for Cas to push, just barely, and all Dean can see is white as Cas pulls back and enters again, a little further, and repeats it until he's to the hilt. Dean's panting and he swears if Cas just touches him the right way he'd be coming between the mattress and his stomach.

Next, he's thrusting. And oh, it's so good.

Dean makes some sort of mewl underneath Cas. Cas lets out a hearty moan above him, wiry hair hitting Dean at the ass. It's sensational and hot and wet. Cas’s nails drag down Dean's tan back, leaving a burn in their trail.

Cas flips them again, somehow keeping them intact. Cas’ eyes are dark and makes Dean's heart practically stop. Dean can't imagine how he looks below Cas.

Cas eyes him, and stops at Dean's cock, hard and curled towards Dean's navel. The head has gone a purple, and it's leaking steadily onto Dean's stomach.

Cas picks up the pace, rutting into Dean with a purpose, and grabs Dean's dick with a hard hand. He strokes once, tightly and slowly. Dean pants below him, grabbing sheets and gritting his teeth. Cas leans down and gives Dean a half-asses kiss, absentmindedly jerking Dean off, harder and harder as he gets closer and closer.  
Dean stammers beneath Cas, “I-I'm gonna-“

He gasps as he comes in Cas’ hand, and Cas keeps at Dean anyways. It gets to be too much. Dean feels the tears prick his eyes as Cas keeps going, thrusting and thrusting until he pushes deep and stops, tense above Dean. He stops altogether and collapses on two hands by Dean's head.  
“Fuck,” Cas hisses, leaning his sweaty forehead on Dean's. His breath smells like alcohol, cigarettes, and maybe mint.

Dean laughs some sort of reply before he feels the exhaustion falls over him. He's not sure what happens next other than the veil that comes over him.

When he wakes up, he doesn't expect to be covered by the same man that fucked his brains out last night. Cas is curled next to him, barely covered by a sheet. Dean's sore. Very sore, now that he thinks about it.

But damnit, that was good sex.

He takes a moment to look over the man who stripped him of any doubt that he fucking loves men. Before it was a thought, maybe he liked them. It was erotic, something different than women. But god. There's no turning back now.

Cas’ dark hair is thick and sticking up in every direction, dark eyebrows furrowed in his sleep. His mouth is slightly ajar and a soft pink. He has a straight nose, and Dean remembers the vivid blue eyes from the night before. Cas is lean and tan, all muscle. He's got the softest speckle of chest hair.

Cas turns over in his sleep, throwing a leg over Dean's hip and hooking it. He pulls them closer in his sleep, and breathes softly into Dean's ear.

Cas is almost too warm against Dean, but he refuses to move.

Beside him, his phone buzzes in the floor still in his jean pocket. He's sure it's Sam or Charlie wondering where the fuck he is. He can't bring himself to care right now. They dragged him to a club he didn't want to go to. Although one good thing did come out of it.

Dean wonders if he's ever gonna see the guy again. He's not sure if he wants women now, with the knowledge of how hot it could be. Maybe he’ll start sleeping around with men instead.

Cas stirs beside him and hums into Dean's shoulder.

“Good morning sunshine,” Cas says, sprawling a hand over Dean's chest. His finger circles Dean's nipple softly, and it hardens beneath the touch.

“Morning,” Dean grunts back. He's not sure what to say.

Cas sits up and runs a hand through his hair, doing nothing but helping it stick in every direction. He gives Dean a sheepish grin and stands up, letting the sheet fall off his naked body.

Cas looks like he could've been carved by Gods. Every curve or dimple or freckle is placed perfectly. He has back dimples, sitting just above his ass. He's tan, but there's no lines. Dean vaguely wonders if he tans naked.

Cas does something to the coffee pot on top of the mini fridge and gets it to spit out some hot coffee.

“Do you like black coffee?” Cas asks, cocking an eyebrow.

Dean nods, and frowns. This is all too normal. It's like Cas didn't take his damn ass virginity last night. Or like maybe he's used to it. Dean pushes the sour thought out of his brain. He doesn't want to know if he's another almost-gay man that Cas turned. If he is, he really doesn't want to know.

Dean sits up and fishes his phone from his pocket. He's got ten messages from Sam, three from Charlie.

He briefly reads through them. Sam's worried, as expected. Charlie guesses that he got some nice ass, in her words. She was right, but not in the way he's sure she was expecting.

Dean stands up too, but quickly starts to pull on his boxers.

“Hey,” Cas stops him, shaking his head. Dean frowns, confused. “Don't put those on yet.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because I'm not done with you.”

Dean swallows hard. He says nothing as Cas grabs his boxers from him and throws them somewhere behind him. He kisses Dean long and hard, the taste of coffee entering Deans mouth through Cas’ tongue. “I think I was blessed,” Cas murmurs, pushing Dean back. “I definitely wasn't expecting to find such a nice piece of ass last night.” He taunts as he situates himself over Dean. He kisses Dean long and hard again. Before he can go further, a phone buzzes on the other side of the room.

Cas sighs and goes to fetch it. Dean watches as his back hardens, the muscles tensing beneath olive skin.

“Never mind,” Cas says, voice hard. “We’ll have to finish this later.” He grabs his pants and slides them on commando.

Dean sits up on his elbows and frowns. “What?”

Cas turns to look at him and cocks a slight grin. “Got some business to attend to.” He saunters over to Dean and kisses him again, like they've been doing this longer than 12 hours.

Cas caresses his face like he's done it before. “I'm leaving my number. Call me.”  
Dean gives a curt nod, and frowns as Cas leaves with his boots in hand.

That's got to be about the weirdest one night stand he's ever had. But damnit. It was a good one.

After he's dressed he finds Cas’s number, as promised, laying on the desk in scratchy handwriting. He puts it in his phone and leaves his own scribbled below Cas’, leaving the hotel room behind him.

He quickly texts Sam back that he's fine and going to go grab a burger. He has to go back to the club to retrieve his car. He feels around for his keys and pulls them out of his front pocket. Baby rumbles with a purpose and takes off down the road.

As he eats he can't stop thinking about that man. Cas. He definitely left Dean with vivid memories. He won't be one Dean will forget easily, like he does with most of his one night relationships.

He pays for his burger and goes back home, where Sam is waiting on him with questions out the ass.

“So…did you meet someone? Is that why you left?”

“You mean, did I have some action? Yes. I did.” Dean corrected, because he didn't really meet anyone. Cas was just a one night stand. He gets numbers from all his one nighters. Cas won't be any different.

“You seem…different.” Sam cocks an eyebrow. Dean rolls his eyes and grabs a cold one.

“Well, I'm not.”

Sam gives an unsure nod and drops it.

He doesn't hear from Cas for a few days after that. He's started to forget about him, by the time is phone buzzes with “Cas” plastered across the screen.

I know this place. Want to grab lunch?

Dean frowns and types back, Sure.

The place Cas picks is a little diner on the side of the road. Dean's seen it in passing several times but never stopped. Cas is waiting on him when Dean gets there. He almost doesn't recognize the guy when he sees him. Cas is put together now, not drunk and not half asleep and naked.

Cas’s hair is still a little messy, but it's clean and is almost pushed back. Cas is clean shaven and his eyes aren't fogged with sleep or alcohol. Dean gets a whiff of him the moment he sits down. It's that sweet cologne again. It almost reminds him of a rainy day. It settles a strange calm over him, like he's smelled it a million times.

The waitress is quick to jot down orders. Cas gets this crazy burger, filled with cheese and it has everything on it. Dean decides that sounds damn good and orders one too.

“So…” Dean starts off as he sips his soda. “What have you been up to, Cas?” He doesn't know how to talk to the guy. He wasn't suppose to see him ever again.

“Thinking about you, mostly.” Cas says with no shame. His blue eyes rake up what he can see of Dean's body from above the table. His eyes land on Dean's. He sighs and holds his hands up in surrender. “I'm sorry. Normally I don't leave my number for a person I've fucked,”

Dean's eyes go wide.

“But there's just.” Cas sighs and looks at him. “There's something different. I don't know. Call me crazy, because I am. But most guys I'm with are sleazy. You're not. And I…wanted to have you, again.”

Dean frowns. “Friends with benefits,” he sums it up.

Cas frowns. Dean decides it doesn't look good on him. “If you want to consider it like that, then fine.”

Dean laughs a hearty laugh and pulls a hand through his hair. “Gotta tell ya, pal,” Cas frowns deeper at his nickname. “I don't normally talk to the people I sleep with after it's over.”

“So what?” Cas gets suddenly offensive. “Am I not good enough?”

Dean’s smile fades and gets replaced with a frown. “I didn't say—“

Cas stands suddenly, the chair he was in making a terrible screeching noise across the floor. He’s got Dean by the shirt and dragging him by their waitress before Dean can think. Cas briefly tells the waitress they'll be right back, and she nods with a confused look on her face.

Dean can't push the words out as Cas drags them outside and to an older car that Dean must assume is Cas’s.

Dean's shoved into the back seat with Cas crowding over him in half a second.

“Cas—“ Dean tries, but gets interrupted with a hot mouth on his. He tries not to kiss back. He really does. But it doesn't work. Cas’ mouth is demanding and pulls Dean’s tongue against his with less than gentle coaxing. Dean can't breathe by the time Cas pulls back. As Cas goes to work on Dean’s pants, Dean grabs his shoulder. “Cas!” He barks, the sound too loud in the locked car. Cas ignores him and gets Deans dick out of his jeans and boxers. Dean’s breath shudders when Cas strokes it. Cas works his own jeans off completely, only in a shirt by the time he's done. Deans not sure how he managed it in such a tight space but he does.

Cas’s mouth is around him before Dean can yell at him again. It dissolves any protest Dean was even thinking about having.

“C-Ca…assss…” Dean's wimpy protest turns into a moan. His head falls back and hits the car door but he doesn't care. Cas’s tongue is swirling and his throats his swallowing around Dean's dick.

Suddenly Cas is over him, straddling him, and the tightest grip Dean has ever felt is over his cock. It takes him less than a second to realize that Cas is fucking himself with Dean's cock, eyes locked with Dean's. His mouth is open, eyes wide, and he's panting. “Oh, fuck,” Cas squeaks. “You're bigger than I thought.” He breathes, but plasters his hands on Dean's chest nonetheless and starts up and down. Dean starts timing his hips with Cas’ movements and before either of them know it, the car is filled with noises so explicit and wrong it only sends Dean into some sort of ecstasy.

“Shit, Cas. You're so fuckin’ tight!” Dean curses, screwing his eyes shut and letting out a shuddering breath as Cas’ ass flutters around Dean's dick. Dean doesn't mean to come this soon, but he does, with a moan that sends Cas over the edge, too.

Dean gets hot come all over his stomach where his shirt rode up, but fuck it he doesn't care.

Cas slumps over top of him, and bites Dean's nipple. “Am I good enough?”

Dean lets out a half assed laugh. “Fuck,” Dean breathes. Cas takes that as a yes.

Their lunch is mostly silent, now. Vaguely Dean wonders what the fuck he's getting himself into.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
Dean is surprised when his phone buzzes the very next day from Cas. He was still coming to terms with a friends with benefits relationship. What did that even mean? Sex with no strings. No sharing secrets or dates or anything. Just a booty call.

Dean sighs and opens the text.

How about a movie date?

Dean frowns.

Thought this was a no strings thing.

He waits for an answer.

It is. Doesn't mean we can't go to the movies as friends.

Dean sighs.

Which one?

How about Transformers?

Fine

Cas picks the next movie time, which starts in 20 minutes. Dean barely makes it to the theater in time for the starting scene. He finds Cas sitting in the very back, eating popcorn. Dean sighs and sits down beside of him. He finds the theater is hardly full, with only a few people scattered around the theater.

Dean settles easily into the seat and sighs again. Ever since this stupid friends with benefits thing started a mere day ago he seems to be sighing a lot more.

“Popcorn?” Cas offers. Dean declines. He doesn't get why they're seeing this damn movie.

They're barely halfway through it when Cas is suddenly out of his chair and…Dean frowns. On his knees.

"What're you—“

“Did you really think I wanted to see this fucking movie?” Cas growls from the floor, barely audible. Deans cock is out of his pants before he realizes.

God, Cas is such a sex addict. But. So is Dean.

Cas’ mouth is so good. It's like it was made by God himself. It's skilled and hot and wet and knows exactly where to push Deans buttons.

Cas fits the whole damned thing in his mouth, and Dean can feel it hit the back of Cas’ throat. He swallows around it and a moan escapes Deans throat. He covers it up with a cough and feels his toes involuntarily curl in his boots. He finds something to grab when that familiar rush hits him. He barks out another cough to cover up the moan as Cas barely unsheathes his teeth. Dean bites his fist and screws his eyes shut as he comes hard and fast into Cas’s mouth. Cas swallows around him and doesn't let a single drop go to waste.

Cas sits back in his chair as if nothing ever happened, all while Dean is struggling to breathe beside of him. The movie doesn't even matter at this point. Dean can make out Cas’ hard on through his jeans, and wonders what Cas is going to do about it.

Turns out Cas can hold onto a hard on for another hour, because once they hit the parking lot, Cas follows Dean to his car and pushes him against it, kissing him.

“It's your turn now,” Cas says, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

Dean smirks, and opens the passenger door for Cas. “Lets go find a place.”

Cas slides into the passenger seat of Baby with grace, and rubs his erection through his jeans as Dean follows the familiar road home.

Cas follows him into his house quietly, continuing to rub himself through his jeans.

“So, where's the bed? I'm going out of my fucking brains here.”

Dean laughs quietly and pushes Cas towards his bedroom. It's nothing special. Dark sheets and light walls. Minimal furniture. A picture of his family in a frame beside the lamp.

Dean pushes Cas down on the bed and unzips his jeans. Cas springs alive and leaking from his boxers. He's long, and not quite as thick as Dean is.

Dean takes him willingly into his mouth and relishes in the throaty moan Cas lets out, bucking his hips into Dean. Dean sucks hard, and lets a hand play with Cas’ swollen balls, eliciting the sluttiest moan Dean thinks he's ever heard.

“Fuck!” Cas leans up on his elbows to watch, eyebrows furrowed and mouth ajar and panting. “Damnit you're so good.” He whines, flexing his hips to hit the back of Deans throat.

Dean does his best not to gag from it, and somehow succeeds. Cas is coming hot and thick down his throat next. It gives him no choice but to swallow it all down.

Cas collapses on Dean's bed with a sigh. “That was amazing.” He huffs a laugh. “Fuck,” he curses again. It seems to be a favorite word of his.

“You hungry?” Dean asks, standing and wiping his mouth. Cas goes soft before he pulls his jeans back up, but doesn't bother to button them. Cas makes a noise that seems like a yes. Dean realizes that he's falling asleep fast on Dean's bed, sprawled out with his legs dangling over the edge. Dean doesn't mind, to his own surprise.

He leaves Cas to sleep in his bed, peaceful enough. He heads to the kitchen to cook…hell, he doesn't know what. He rummages through the cabinets. All he finds is some macaroni and some cereal. Some random tomatoes. A few slices of cheese. He sighs. Macaroni it is.

He gets the noodles cooking quickly enough, setting up some bowls for either of them. He's not sure how long Cas is going to sleep but hopefully the macaroni will still be warm by the time wakes up.

He adds some extra cheese and lets it melt. He hears his bedroom door open faintly, before Cas rounds the corner looking for Dean.

His hair is ruffled and his eyes are red with sleep. He rubs his eyes and has a soft frown on his face.

“Do you have a bathroom?” He grumbles.

“Yeah,” Dean chuckles. “Down the hall and to the right.”

“You mind if I shower?” Cas asks before he turns the corner.

Dean shrugs. “No. I have some sweats in the bottom drawer of my dresser.” Cas says nothing as he leaves. Dean hears the shower turn on.

By the time Cas is out of the shower, Deans eaten and gone through two beers, watching some overrun tv show.

Cas’s hair is in all directions, still damp. He's shirtless and is, in fact, in Deans sweats. Dean tries not to notice how good he looks in them. Cas eats the cold macaroni with ease, settling down beside Dean on the couch. He throws his legs over Deans lap like he does it every night. Somehow Dean finds a normalcy in this whole friends with benefits thing.

Dean clears his throat, and lays a hand on Cas’ calves. “So, you from Kansas?” Dean asks. He doesn't know a single shit about his new sex buddy, only what's on the outside and the fact he has a nice dick.

Cas lets out a bitter laugh. “Hardly. But do you really think we should be asking each other questions?”

“Why shouldn't we be?” Dean asks, frowning. “We're fucking each other. I'd like to know a little bit about the guy I'm letting in my bed.”

Cas lets out a huff. “I'm from Illinois.” He offers nothing else. Dean sighs.

“Look, Cas. I get you don't want to talk about anything, but I don't know if I can let some dude I don't even know continuing to fuck me.”

“So what, if I don't tell you my whole fucking life story you're kicking me out?” Cas asks, eyes hard and angry when they meet Dean's.

“That's not what I'm saying.” Dean grumbles, finishing his beer.

“Then what are you saying, Dean? Because that's what it sounds like.”

Dean sighs and rubs his eyes, suddenly tired. “I don't know what I'm saying. I've never done this stupid friends with benefits thing before, okay? Last time I let someone sleep in my bed or wear my shit or even brought them to my house, I at least sort of knew her.”

“Then I'll leave.”

Cas stands, and starts towards the bathroom where Dean assumes his clothes are.

“Cas—“ Dean sighs as he goes after him. “Look, you don't have to leave.”

“Then stop trying to fucking know me.” Cas snaps, glaring evilly at Dean.

“Fine!” Dean snaps back.

Cas is on him in a heart beat, shoving him aggressively until Dean's on his bed. Cas strips Dean's shirt and pants off, then shucks off the sweats he was wearing. Cas was going commando. Dean smirks at the thought.

Cas climbs on top of Dean and gives him a hard kiss that would probably leave his lips swollen and angry. Cas flips him over. Dean lets out a hard hiss when Cas slaps his ass—hard. Dean can feel the sting left behind as Cas ruts against him, a wet finger circling around Dean's ass again. Cas doesn't give Dean a minute to prepare when he shoves his cock down to the balls into Dean. Dean groans so loud it's almost a scream. The burn of the thrust leaves him knotting his hands into the sheets.

“That's right,” Cas hisses above him. Dean's not sure what he's referring to but he ignores him, and bites his tongue. Cas fucks him hard and long, scratching down his back and sucking a hickey into his shoulder. Dean moans. He never thought he'd love the feeling of being the one used and fucked into the mattress. He's used to being the one doing that. It's a welcome change.

Cas reaches around and jerks Dean off. God, with skilled hot hands like that he wasn't about to last long.

Dean comes first, muting a scream into the pillows, while Cas stills above him and fills him up to the brim. Cas pulls out and falls beside of Dean, hair sweaty again. Dean is panting into the pillows, not even sure what the hell just happened.

He doesn't care, because before he knows it they're both passed out naked and in the same bed for the second time.

Dean wakes up when the clock hits 10:00PM. All that's left in Cas’ wake is rumpled sheets and an astray pillow. Dean sighs, and assumes Cas ditched. Dean must have scared him off with the whole “wanting to get to know you” thing. Dean can't fucking help it. If they're going to continue fucking each other, why can't he know a little bit about the guy? He's not asking for a damn social security number for Christ sakes.

Dean slips a pair of boxers on and heads to the living room to get a beer. He's probably not far from crashing into unconsciousness again but another dose of alcohol to wear him down would never hurt.

If it weren't for the orange burn of a cigarette Dean would have never seen Cas out on his front porch. Dean sits the beer down on the coffee table and heads outside. Cas sucks long and hard on the cigarette and lets the smoke sit in his lungs for a few seconds before letting it go.

He sits on one of the steps, hunched over and shirtless in the sweat pants he wore earlier. Dean vaguely wonders if he's commando again. Without word, Dean sits beside of him and feels the heat radiating from Cas’ body. It's a warm welcome in the almost-chilly night air.

“I'm from Pontiac, Illinois,” Cas says in a grunt, pulling in another intake of cigarette. Dean doesn't say anything, only keeps quiet and stares off into the dark neighborhood, tracing the outlines of trees with his eyes. “I have one sister, and four brothers. I don't know where half of them are and I haven't been home in years. I don't have a job, and I usually get money from some of the people I fuck with. I'm pretty sure my parents are dead, but I'm not positive.” Cas is quiet for a moment, and finishes his cigarette all the way down to the filter. “Know enough about me now?” He grunts.

“You didn't have to tell me all that, Cas.” Dean says quietly, almost guilty. He didn't want to pry.

“What about you?” Cas asks, pulling another cigarette out of the carton he had laying beside of him.

Dean sighs. “I'm from Lawrence. I have one brother. I'm a mechanic. Mom is dead but dads working at a saw mill place.” Dean shrugs. “There's not much to know about me.”

Cas hums and takes long drags from his cigarette. “I'm sure that's not true.”

Dean laughs a little and shakes his head. “It's very true.” He lets his smile fall and runs a hand through his hair. “I'm starving. Do you want to come in, eat something? You can leave, if you want.” Dean offers. He really doesn't want Cas to leave. He doesn't know why. He met the guy about a week ago and it's like he's known him his whole damn life. It's like there's a string Dean never even realize existed til he met this guy. Cas looks up at him and puts out his cigarette on the porch step.

“Sure. I'll eat.” Cas agrees. “More macaroni?” He jokes, cocking an eyebrow as they stand.

“I don't have much.” Dean shrugs.

“Lets get dressed and go to that diner again. They're open 24/7.”

It really didn't sound like a half bad idea. By the time they got back Dean was sure they could fall back to sleep. So, Dean agrees and puts his clothes on. Nothing more than a pair of pajama pants and a sweatshirt. He didn't care much what he looked like in the middle of the night. Cas didn't seem to care either because he sported untied boots, sweats, and one of Deans shirts. Dean tried not to think of how keen he was on the idea of Cas in his clothes…in his bed.

Dean orders that burger again and goes for another soda. Cas orders some sort of salmon and a water. They eat silently for a few moments, stuffing their mouths enough to form coherent words.

“What did, uh, your parents do?” Dean asks, seeing how far he could push Cas with this whole life story thing.

Cas clears his throat and doesn't look up from his half eaten fish. “They were both very religious and political. Never knew my real father but mother remarried to some political crook, Zachariah. Mother worked at a homeless shelter, and Zachariah ran some business. I don't know what it was.” Cas glances up at Dean and arches a brow. Dean knows what it means, somehow.

“Mom worked at a daycare, and Dad travelled for work. Mom died in a house fire.”

“I'm sorry.” Cas sounds genuine, looking at Dean with longing eyes. “I wish I could bring myself to miss either of my parents.”

Dean frowns. “Why don't you miss them?”

Cas shakes his head. “Different story for a different time.”

Dean nods and doesn't push further. He knows he's lucky with what he got out of him. Cas finishes his salmon and glances out the large window they sat by.

"I know those guys,” Cas mutters, more to himself than to Dean. Dean glances up at the men, all dressed in black and smoking cigars by their car. He watches Cas squint, then his eyes go wide. He whispers, barely audible, “Raphael,”

“Who's—“

“Dean I think we need to go.” Cas stands abruptly and dishes out more than enough cash before Dean can stop him. When Dean doesn't move fast enough, Cas grabs him by the shirt and yanks. “I said we need to go.” Cas growls, keeping an eye on the men out front. Cas drags Dean through the back door of the restaurant and around to Deans car. Cas slides into the passenger seat and keeps still, pressing his body against the seat as far as he can.

Dean starts Baby and frowns. He glances over at the guys as he pulls out of the parking spot. The men look up, and still.

“Fuck,” Cas hisses. “They saw me.” His head falls into his hands and he yanks at his hair. He turns in the seat and watches as the men get back in their car. “They're going to follow us.” He hisses, then shouts, loud and from deep within his chest. “God damnit!”

Dean shouts over him, “Cas! Calm the fuck down and tell me what the hell is going on!”

Cas shouts back, “No!”

Dean lets out a bitter laugh as he peels down the road, faster than any man should. He ends up back at his apartment in record time. Cas is out of the car before it's parked and running inside. By the time Dean gets in there to make Cas tell him what the hell is happening, Cas has all his shit balled up in his hands and he's headed for the door.

Dean grabs him by the arm, and yanks him back. “What the fuck Cas? Where the fuck are you going?”

“I'm leaving. I can't be here. We're done with this friends with benefits shit.”

“Cas, wait a damn second!”

Cas rips his arm from Deans grasp and glares at him with black eyes. “You want the know what's going on? I fucked Raphael and I stole some shit. I've been avoiding him for months. He wants to fucking kill me for it, and if he finds you helping me camp out, he's going to kill you too!”

Deans eyes go wide and he slams the door shut when Cas opens it. “Why the hell did you steal shit from this guy, Cas? What the hell did you get yourself into!?”

"It was months ago, Dean! I have to go or he's going to kill you too!” Cas tries to shove Dean back but somehow he doesn't budge. “Please, just let me leave.”

“No.” Dean shakes his head. “You're not going out there.”

Cas doesn't seem to have any words left, just as more headlights pull up out front. “Fuck!” Cas growls and manages to shove Dean off of him. Dean goes for his gun that's tucked into the couch.

God, what has he gotten himself into?

There's banging on his door, and he knows exactly who it is. He loads up the gun and opens the door as Cas disappears down the hall.

A tall, thin black man is standing there with a toothy grin on his face. “I assume you know why I'm here.”

“Full and well,” Dean bites back. “I think you need to leave.”

"I think I need that man that's hiding in here somewhere. Give him to me and we won't beat your fucking brains out.”

“You're not getting him.” Dean snaps, and pulls the trigger.

The shot goes out and Dean watches as the man Cas called Raphael goes down, a shot to the leg enough to satisfy Dean. The other man with him goes to come after Dean, but Deans quick on the punch and ducks from the guy’s hit. He elbows him, striking him right in the nose. The guy grunts and holds his bloody nose long enough for Dean to knee him in the groin.

Outside, cops show up. Either it was from the gunshot that happened less than a minute ago, or Cas found Deans cell and called the cops.

Of course, there's a big situation and Dean has to lie and tell them they tried to rob him and it was only is self defense. He gives up his papers for the gun to show he's allowed to have it and that seems to be enough for them.

By the time Dean gets to his room it's almost 3AM. He sits on his bed with a heavy breath. “I shot him in the leg,”

Cas lets out a shuddering breathe. Dean only realizes then that Cas has been and still is crying. His knees are pulled up to his chest and he's trying to breathe through the wet streaks down his face.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean tries to soothe. “It's all over now.”

Cas shakes his head and grunts, “They'll probably send more goons after me. You should have just let me go.”

Dean shakes his head. He doesn't say anything as he strips and lays down. He was too exhausted to say another word. He's out before he even hits the pillows.

When he wakes up the next day, he smells bacon, and the spot Cas had been in is empty and rumpled. Dean's beginning to get too used to this. He's not sure if that's a good thing or not. He sits up and sniffs at the air again, wondering if last night had been a dream or just a really fucked up situation. The sun is too bright coming through the window. Dean squints as he pulls on a pair of sweats.

In the kitchen, Cas is frying bacon.

“Where'd you get bacon?” Dean grunts, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“I walked around the block to the supermarket.” Cas explains briefly. He hands Dean a piece he'd already fried. Dean hums at the taste as his stomach growls. “I also got eggs.”

Dean moans at the sound. He hasn't had a real breakfast in who knows how long. He goes to put some eggs on the stove and help Cas out when his phone buzzes. Sam’s name pops up on the screen. Dean sighs and answers it.

“Heya, Sammy.”

“Hey, you're on the news. Why? Someone tried to rob you?”

“Uh,” Dean clears his throat. “Yeah. I got em though.”

“You're ok?”

Dean chuckles and balances the phone between his shoulder and ear as he cracks four eggs into a skillet. “Yep, I’m all good Sammy.”

“Good. Hey, Charlie's bringing some poker cards over tonight. Wanna come play? I'll order some pizza and wings and you can stop and get us some six packs. Just like old times.”

Dean glances at Cas and gets an idea. “You care if I bring a plus one?”

Cas stills and looks at Dean with a curious gaze. Dean winks at him and flips the eggs. “No, I don't care. Who is it?” Sam asks.

“You'll just have to find out, Sammy. See you tonight.” Dean hangs up and tosses his phone on the counter. Cas frowns at him.

“Who was that?”

“My little brother.” Dean answers. “He and a friend of mine are playing poker tonight and having some food and beer. I figured you could come with me.” He eyes Cas carefully. “Does that sound okay?”

Cas bites at his lip and empties out his skillet of bacon to add more into it. “I…guess I could tag along.”

“Really?” Dean grins. He wasn't expecting Cas to agree so easily.

“I haven't really hung out with anyone for a while.” Cas shrugs, munching on a few pieces of bacon.

Dean grins, and nods. He couldn't quite name the feeling in his gut but it felt too damn close to butterflies. He decided he would deal with that later.

That night, he and Cas pull up to Sam’s humble little apartment complex around 7. He immediately spots Sam's little sports car and Charlie’s neon green coupe. Dean leads the way up to Sam's apartment, not bothering on knocking. Cas shuffles in behind him, all awkward and quiet. Something Deans not used to in the small amount of time he's known him.

“Hey!” Charlie beams, coming from around the corner of the dining room. She gives him a big hug and looks at Cas. “Who's your friend?”

“Cas, this is Charlie. Charlie, Cas.”

Cas eyes her bright red hair and her novelty tee. She's short and thin, with a big smile and an excited personality. She hugs Cas briefly and steps back.

“Nice to meet you! This is totally who you ditched us for at the club that one night, isn't it?” Charlie raises a suspicious eyebrow to Dean.

“Wait, what?” Dean raises an eyebrow. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I know everything, Dean Winchester. And I know you like boys, just like I love girls.” She winks at Cas, and gives Dean a pat on the shoulder. “You did good. He's a cutie. I hope you're good at poker, because Dean beats us all.” She winks to Cas, before she's off again.

“Quite a character,” Cas grumbles, giving Dean a quick glance.

Dean shrugs. “She's the little sister I never wanted.” Cas lets out a snort, and follows Dean into the dining room where Sam is scarfing down pizza and Charlie is setting up poker. Sam makes a noise when he sees Dean with beer. Dean lays them on the counter and lets Sammy have at it.

“Is this Cas?” Sam points to Cas, who blushed slightly underneath Sam's gaze.

"Yep that's him!” Charlie grins.

“Why didn't you tell me you found someone Dean?” Sam asks, frowning.

“Does everyone know I'm into guys now?” Dean grumbles, looking at Charlie for an explanation.

“Sorry, Dean-o. We know you better than you think.” Charlie winks. “Don't be ashamed. You two look good together.”

Dean sighs and mutters an apology to Cas under his breath. He knows they're going to hound him for information on their relationship and about Cas. He figures they'd just have to play couple for the night and deal with it until they go back to Deans place.

As it turns out, Cas is very good at poker. He wins three times. Dean ups the game by throwing in a twenty. Cas eyes him suspiciously across the table, eyes going dark. Dean smirks and raises a brow. “You're not winning this time, pal.” Dean teases.

“We’ll see about that, sweetheart.”

That entire sentence sends chills up Deans spine. Cas tops Dean with a second twenty. Dean curses, and evens it up. Sam and Charlie throw their forty out and wait patiently as the battle between Cas and Dean at poker unfolds.

Deans got good cards. Kings. He keeps his poker face strong, glancing between Cas and the pile of twenties in the center of the table.

“You're going down,” Dean gives Cas a toothy grin, and lays his cards down. Sam and Charlie do the same. Dean tops them both, but they knew that from the start. They always lost.

Cas frowns. “Hmm.” Dean thinks he's got him until Cas licks his lip tauntingly and lays his down, too. Aces over kings. “Sorry, sweetheart. Looks like you've lost…again.”

Charlie and Sam get a good laugh at Dean when Cas grabs everyone's twenties. Dean frowns as Cas evens them all out and folds them together.

By the time they're done with their game, it's working on the early hours. Dean doesn't say much more than a grumble when they head out. Cas, however gives both Sam and Charlie a brief hug and thanks them for inviting them. He's obviously in a good mood from scoring $200.

“Don't be such a sore loser Dean,” Cas chuckles when they get back to Dean's place.

“I'm not,” Dean grunts. “Just don't like being out forty bucks.”

Cas rolls his blue eyes and pushes Dean back on the couch. “Want me to make it up to you?”

Dean smirks. “I think I deserve a little something, yeah.”

Cas licks his lips and undoes Dean's jeans. He's got his cock out in less than a few seconds and is mouthing at it while Dean is panting above him.

Cas is still so good and skilled. He's got Dean coming in a matter of minutes, lapping up every drop of come he didn't swallow. Dean sighs and lets his eyes roll to the back of his head. God he's so tired.

“Lets get to bed,” he grumbles, standing and shucking off everything but his boxers into the living room floor.

Cas doesn't fight. “Okay,” He murmurs, following Dean closely until they're in the bedroom. Dean lays down with Cas’ head on his chest. He doesn't know how they end up that way but it seems right. It seems like…more.

“Hey, Cas?” Dean whispers in the dark.

“Hmm?”

“What would you feel about…more?”

Cas stiffens beside Dean. “More?”

“Yeah,” Dean whispers. “More than just sex.”

“Like… a relationship? Meet the parents sort of deal?”

Dean chuckles. “Something like that. You already met my idiot little brother and my best friend Charlie.”

Cas acknowledges him with a noise, then Dean thinks he falls asleep because he goes quiet beside of him. Dean sighs and decides maybe that's a question for in the morning.

Cas is gone when he wakes up. He figures maybe he's making breakfast again. So he gets up and heads for the kitchen, but Cas isn't there. Dean frowns. He checks outside. There's only a small piece of cigarette butt left where Dean found him a few nights ago.

He heads for his phone. No messages. He makes one.

Where are you?

He doesn't get an answer. Not minutes later, not hours later, not even days later. He goes through work days like a robot and wonders where the hell Cas went. He hopes he's okay.

There's also a deep feeling in his gut that hurts. He's never felt it before but every time he smells Cas’ cologne in his sheets or sees that Damn butt he hasn't swept off the porch yet, it hurts more.

Cas never replies. Dean wants to forget about him, and starts to, until he's at work one stupid Wednesday and he sees a familiar car sitting in the garage being worked on. He thinks it's just a coincidence, until a familiar face comes out of the waiting area to pay.

Dean sits up from the car he'd been working on and marches. Cas owes him fucking answers.

“Cas,” Dean hisses, grabbing his collar before he can go into the other room to pay. Cas gasps as he hits the wall.

“What the hell, Dean?”

“You owe me fucking answers.”

“No, I don't.” Cas seethes. “I owe you nothing.” He goes to walk away, but Dean pushes him back against the wall. He thanks God that the other mechanics are having a smoke.

“You owe me nothing?” Dean laughs bitterly. “We both know that's a lie. Why did you run away?”

“I didn't.”

Dean shoves him hard against the wall. “Tell me!”

“I was done! I don't want you anymore,” Cas snaps. Dean lets him go. Words hurt, but damnit those hurt bad.

“You're lying,” Dean laughs.

Cas rears up and lets his shoulders roll back. “I'm not.” Dean shakes his head. He knows he's lying. That or he refuses to believe it. He grabs Cas by the collar again and yanks him around the corner to the single bathroom. He shoves Cas inside and kisses him, hot and hard on the mouth. Cas grunts and tries to fight it, at first. Dean doesn't let him escape it, though.

Dean kisses him so damn hard, for so damn long. He invades Cas’ mouth with his tongue, and they dance together. Dean works on Cas’ jeans, and yanks them down.

“You're so tired of me,” Dean seethes into Cas’ ear when he flips him, pushing his chest against the wall. “We’ll see how tired you are.”

Cas frowns against the wall as Dean takes his cock out of his pants and lines Cas’ ass up with his precum. Dean pushes into Cas, because he knows Cas doesn't need a minute. Cas gasps like a schoolgirl when Dean shoves into him to the hilt.

“You sound like a whore,” Dean spits into his ear. He's not sure why he's acting like this. Maybe he's angry. Maybe it's because this is how Cas treats him during sex. Either way, Dean lets it happen.

Cas mewls against the wall, hands by his head. Dean thrusts hard and deep into him, shoving him further into the wall.

“Fuck, Dean,” Cas hisses, pushing his hips back to meet Deans every thrust.

“You still tired of me?” Dean grunts, grabbing Cas’ hips to pull him in.

“God,” Cas moans, forehead against the wall. “I wasn't,”

“Didn't think so,” Dean replies, keeping his thrusts at an even pace. “Tell me why you left.”

“No,” Cas says between teeth, nails trying to dig into the wall. Dean thrusts hard and feels the tip of his dick hit Cas’ prostate. “Fuck!” Cas screams, and Dean's sure the other guys heard if they came back from their smoke. “I don’t do relationships,”

“There's a different reason, Cas. And I want you to tell me,” Cas stays quiet as Dean keeps going. “Tell me, Cas! I just want to know!” Dean shouts, coming to the end of his patience. He stills inside of Cas, both on the brink to coming, and pants hard into his ear. “Tell me and I'll finish us,”

Cas’ hands turn into fists. He makes a noise, and it's then Dean realizes Cas had tears cascading down his face. Without second thought he jerks Cas off and finishes them both. He pulls Cas’ pants up before they slide into the floor. Dean wraps a arm around Cas’ shoulders. Eventually Cas’ head falls to the crook of Deans neck.

“Tell me,” Dean murmurs, much more soft and patient now.

“Because,” Cas sniffs, “I don't get close to people. People just don't want to be with me. I always leave. Or they do,”

“I'm not going anywhere, Cas. I want this. I want you.”

Cas suddenly sobs into Deans shoulder. Dean isn't expecting it at all. In fact, it's the last thing he expected. He lets Cas cry and holds him tight. He can't help but think this would all be much better at his house.

“I want to, Dean. I just don't want anyone getting hurt,”

“Cas,” Dean runs a hand through Cas’ dark locks. “Ain't no one getting hurt. Not me, not you, not anyone. Not while I'm here.”

Cas shakes his head. “I can't.”

Dean huffs out his frustration. “Just give me a shot, Cas!” He doesn't mean to shout but damnit he can't help it. Without a second thought, or much thought at all, the words slip out. “I love you!”

Cas stills beneath Dean and looks up at him. Cas eyes resemble the ocean. Blue hues and tears. “What?”

Dean sighs. The cats out of the bag, without Dean really knowing there was a cat at all. “I love you. I just want you to try.”

Cas lets out a wet laugh and wipes his eyes. “I love you too,”

Dean frowns. “You do?”

“Fuck, yes,” Cas uses his palms to wipe his face. “I'm sorry I've been such an asshole. I just didn't want you to…not feel the same. I can't handle any more important people leaving me.”

Dean hums. “I'm not gonna go anywhere,”

Cas buries his head into Deans neck. Dean can partly hear him inhale. Dean sighs and feels like this weight he never realized he had has been lifted from his shoulders. He digs into his pocket and pulls out his house key.

“Here,” Dean gives it to Cas. “Go pay for your car and head to my place,”

“Really?” Cas frowns, running his finger over the key.

“Yes.” Dean nods. “I'll be home in a few hours. Just…be there, is all I'm asking,” Dean sighs. They search each other's eyes for a moment. Blue and green. Cas nods.

Hours later, Dean makes it home. He's covered in oil and grease and is in desperate need of a shower. Something blossoms in him when he sees Cas’ car parked in the driveway. When he heads inside, Cas looks freshly showered and is eating bacon. In fact, the whole place smells like bacon. Dean relishes in the aroma, and the scene. Cas is curled up on the couch like he never left, in Deans sweats, watching a tv show Dean didn't know the name of.

Without much words, Dean disappears and takes a shower. He does his best to get the black oil out from under his nails.

When they lay down beside each other this time, it's much more solemn and easy. Dean grabs Cas’ hand in the dark and pulls him closer, finding his mouth. Cas kisses back slow and steady, nothing like what either of them were used to. Cas hums against Dean and crawls on top of him, their tongues finding each other and dancing.

Its slow and sweet this time, hands searching and learning and tracing. Dean hums against Cas' mouth and sighs. The three words are dancing between them. Dean uses his precum to circle around Cas' hole. Cas moans softly in Dean's face, and he realizes Cas used Dean's toothpaste, but cigarettes still linger. 

Cas lets out a soft squeak when Dean breaches, slowly entering Cas. There's no fever this time. 

They go like that for what seems like forever. Dean wouldn't mind forever. Slow, taunting, whispered love confessions in each other's ear. It's late in the night when they're done, panting softly and curled around each other. Cas never realized he needed this. How much he wanted this. Dean never realized this is all he ever wanted out of Cas. That string. It all makes sense now. 

They fall asleep entangled, and wake up to the early morning sun. No rush. No unspoken words. Just them. And they weren't going anywhere. 

 

The End. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. 
> 
> I originally posted this to be in chapters but I figured I'd post it all at once.


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